‘Nobody but you’ has been your song
In moments of longing and affection
You are tempted to ask them to stay
But it shouldn’t be a choice you make
In all its depths, self-respect is the limit
Your love should never have to cross
If they want to stay, they very well may
A free bird that you were, you deserve
Caged parrot, a tale of agony and pain
Difficult is the art to gracefully let go
Meant to be yours also leaves in death
If not meant to be, shouldn’t be forced
It is for that young girl
Who yet had to learn
You may want to cry
But you gotta just smile
Whose eyes would shine
As she beamed with joy
Yet to learn eco, finance
Wanna build dreamhouse
One who dared to dream
Was not shattered by fear
Being emotional her trait
But, wasn’t sorry for tears
Wore heart on her sleeve
Exchange student at 18
Watson-Holmes first love
Anne Adler her beloved
With passion who lived
Will rather fail with pen
Learnt, loved, was loved
Her epitaph should read
"शिकायतें अपनों से बहुत थी
पर सब अपनी गर्दिश में उलझे
जो तुजुर्बों की ये समझ आ गई
समझने समझाने के क्या शिकवे
अपनी जिस रूह पर गुमान था कभी
किस मोड़ छोड़ आए, अब याद नहीं
उनके न होने की क्या शिकायत करें
फितरत की सादगी हमारी गुम गई
टूट कर जुड़ जाना कभी तसुव्वर में था
पर बिन टूटे खो जाना कुछ नया सा मिला"
ये न चहकता आसमां था
पर बस एक सुकून था
आज सब कुछ है पास में
फिर क्यों अनजान सा माहौल है
जो चहको सभी में
पर रातें बेचैन हो
समझ लेना कि शायद
लोगों में ज्यादा मशरूफ हो
अपने लिए भी कुछ वक्त निकाल
कभी तसल्ली से वो किताब उठा
जो छूटे तो उसे रह जाने दे
ख्यालों से कह थोड़ा थम जाने दे
अब जो जाए तो न फिर उम्मीद दे जाना
क्या महसूस करे ये तो ये भी न जाना
तेरे किस्सों को यूं मशहूर है किया
न चाह कर भी क्यों तुझमें दिल है लगा
ईश्क से मुहब्बत-सी नफरत करी
तो क्यों मुलाकात में पिघल सी रही
क्यूं तन्हाई का सुकून अब छूट रहा
तेरा पास न होना क्यों अब खल-सा रहा
क्यों तुझ से यूं मुलाकात हुई
उस शाम क्यों थी धड़कन बढ़ी
Welcoming ourselves to the serene beauty of Panjab University; it is hard not to wish we had more than the last four months of this course. Noon finds us in high spirits trying to enjoy every second of our tiny hourglass, easily too loud for the neighboring classroom while relearning socialization is its own silent tale for quite a few.
Backbencher vibes are finally here to replace the infamous WebEx boxes and our khush-fus the awkward silence online. A group of known unknown meeting in real time for the first time but off-course it has already been a long time. Despite our countless “kaash” longings; we could not be happier to at least end it online. The campus remains an interesting maze for most while the rest too are glad to be back to their favorite place.
Our endless chit-chat, STUC (Student Centre) vibes and break time Uno matches have been the initial ice breakers as our plans for fun clashed with the internship realities. Within my first two days, my wishful thinking was already planning another master’s course only if getting a job post this wasn’t a requirement.
After the first few days of settling in and traversing different groups; the long stroll with hostel gang and requested library tour with Priyanka T. was definitely worth my aching soles while media literacy felt like long awaited nectar to the few who missed those engaging classroom discussions.
Finally meeting people you already called friends as well as the ones who were only fellow names on the roll call a few days back has definitely been worth the wait.
But, with only a real time of a couple of months left; there is so much to do that Room No. 57 ends up stretching through the midnight everyday only to end up with nothing but scrolling, phone calls and conversations as the air scarcely makes its way.
From our first night dinner at Night Food Street to making most out of our little room; we never knew our dissertation comradrie was only paving way for the upcoming hostel adventures.
Today’s timings made no exception but only reversed the order as blogs had to re-find their way as I could not let go of the day without putting them on paper as it almost felt like a missed writing opportunity just like “Gulab-Jamun” in our not so favorite mess food could not escape our plate with or without the accompanying meal.
PS – Starting the chain; you too please keep sharing thy tales. 🙂
There was a time I longed for company
Now sharing space feels overwhelming
A chatterbox once lived for conversations
Today looking forward to nerd’s holy place
From missing it to a daunting surplus
Just too surreal to know what to feel
Still grateful, too late or simply confused?
Too scared for too long for all that awaits
Now is only plain curiosity to see
What curveballs life shall throw
I guess, should be interesting to explore
Improved version or the same old tale 樂
On days that felt too long
Pen brought joy unknown
Guilty about investing wrong
Letting me down, feeling torn
One step fix to all my problems
Once big dream just felt foreign
‘Cos as time caught my fancy
Break with too much of thinking
My heart went traversing to the old
Inhibted by fears but eager to relearn
An art that seems long forgotten
A craft that demand more discipline
Intimidatingly terrifying it is
Yet a lesson, I wish to complete
"I know so many of your plans stand shattered
Tomorrow feel more terrifying than hopeful
But, you have already come a long way
Much longer than you credit yourself for
Take a day or just a breath at a time
But just keep going and we shall all be fine"
As you step out of your shell after months, it feels tiring, daunting and scary, all at the same time but seeing your friends somewhat feeling the same is an almost weird sense of solidarity, an unfortunate comfort that we are in this together but then seeing them standing strong just gives you this amazing amount of inspiration. On days, your own guilt of excuses and wasted time is eating you up like fresh meat; writing to your abstract third self as a friend is currently the biggest solace.
…
Learning to #Keep_Faith and how…like never before
…
One of the best advices I heard and found worth living by – ‘Just talk to yourself like you would to your best friend if they were in your shoes;’ though most likely they too are in the same shoes right now. #Reconnecting
Vaishnavi Sood 