वक्त की बाजी ने परखे सब रिश्ते

वो भी शिद्दत से निभाए थे रिश्ते
जो आज रेत की तरह फिसल गए

वक्त का खेल है, न तेरा न मेरा
राजा का आया था, रंक का आएगा
जो कमाया था सब यहीं रह जाएगा
कह कौन सी कमाई साथ ले जाएगा

ना दिल से लगाऊं ना पीछे हटाऊं
वक्त के आंचल में खुद ही समाऊं

कुछ रिश्ते अपनी अनकही में सिमटे
तो कोई बिन मतलब ही ठहर गए
वादे न बदले तो मायने पलट गए
दोस्त फिर मोड़ पर अकेले ही रह गए

न तुझसे शिकायत, न गीले ना शिकवे
वक्त की बाजी ने परखे सब रिश्ते

A Goodbye; Long Due

My world was fallin’ apart
Yet you were all I starved

So, as I promised to give my all
Your place was the one we start
Listening to Grande on repeat
Burning down little memory piece

Your story was a distraction
Lookin’ back all there was were lessons

Chasing goals was only worthy
Chasing you was a mistake so cheesy
I knew you didn’t care a bit
Yet lookin’ at you made me wish

My world was fallin’ apart
Yet you were all I starved

A blow that waited for years to come
Finally hit as I lost my way
But, I couldn’t be more thankful
There was nothing more to say

Your story was a distraction
Lookin’ back all there was were lessons

PS – Inspired by Ariana Grande’s Song Thank You, Next

फिर अकेले ही कायल हुए

जो मुहब्बत ना नसीबों में थी
तुझ में फिर कुछ कैद सी है
मेरे हर अश्क का दरिया
तुझे में यूं ही सिमट रहा
वो पन्ने आज यूं राख हुए
पर तुझे संभालना सही लगा
जिन के लिए करी थी दुआ
वो अपने रस्ते निकल चले
इन पन्नों की तहनाई में
फिर अकेले ही हम कायल हुए

‘बस वक़्त को कुछ वक़्त दे’

Time, pocket watches

बस वक़्त को कुछ वक़्त दे
हर कहानी इक किस्सा होगी

हर लफ्ज़ को ना दिल से लगा
न जाने किस दुविधा में घिरा
न तू गलत, न वो गलत
सब सही हैं अपनी हिस्से में

बस वक़्त को कुछ वक़्त दे
तेरा ज़ख़्म भी सही होगा

समन्दर में आई ये सुनामी
फिर बस एक लहर होगी
आज का दिन और हर किस्सा
कल पुरानी सी बात होगी

बस वक़्त को कुछ वक़्त तो दे
वो खुद ही तेरा मरहम होगा

जो न समझ में तेरे आ सके
उसे अपने हाल पर छोड़ दे
क्यूं नसीब से तू जंग लड़े
जब तेरे अपने तेरे संग खड़े

बस वक़्त को कुछ वक़्त दे
तेरी हर कहानी हसीन होगी

Better To Be Selfish Than Broke

You might cry on my grave
But can’t die in my place

For you I might be selfish
But I call it self-love

I never had what it takes
To compromise or sacrifice

People appreciate Roses
While it’s thorn is cursed

Everyone pluck the rose
The thorn stays untouched

I prefer living a life I love
Not the one you appreciate

I don’t care what you say
You call even your ex all names

PS – It’s better to be selfish from the go rather than to feel broken and soul less when they go.

Owe the PS Credits and Inspiration to @CSharma

Why I blog on WordPress?

Emotions often don’t understand the social constraints of what’s write and wrong to say. Your heart feels what it feels.

On days, I can’t express my anger or don’t have an immediate company to share my frustration, anxieties, excitement or joys, I tend to take on to my pen.

No matter how much of an expressive extrovert you are, some days you can’t help those phases of feeling isolation. That’s when pen become my companion. Fortunately or unfortunately, my overthinking further fuelled my writings.

Yet, as online lecture notes replaced classroom notebooks, apps like Keep Notes replaced risky, attention grabbing diaries. Blog was probably one of the most randomly conceived ideas in my life.

To tell you the truth, I first learned about blogs through a ‘Rupayan’ (रूपायन) edition. However, I had always kept it as a way to eventually earn myself some extra pocket money.

But, soon my Digital Marketing professor gave me better sense to start with a free one rather than investing heavily in my random experiment.

Thanks to the excitement of a college fresher, this blog was created and my diary was filled with some poems and write-ups that had felt okay to be shared.

But, soon enough as positive feedback started pouring in, it began to pick up pace. Ironically, within a few months as friends and known individuals lost track, it became my safe space to share how I felt, an outlet to both my creative and emotional outbursts.

Today, I work as a Junior Content Writer. But, while our jobs do pay our bills, there are still expressions that need my blogs. On days, I am frustrated when things used to be lighter before the pandemic, I would often put my stories on hold to get on to my blogs to restore my mental peace.

I have tried a couple other platforms and keep them for their own perks, but what probably keeps me hooked to WordPress is probably it’s community. While Twitterarti are busy with the trolls, Insta is filled with memes, WordPress is probably one place I have found users genuinely attempting at their passions and also building each other up on the way rather than pulling each other down in the race.

While, I had began to get slightly professional, for now I am back to the idea, I would rather preserve my being and signature style that’s a lot of mess yet so me. Honestly, I guess I just love having this creative freedom of the space to write whatever I like and unabashedly pour all my heart without caring for the stats.

I guess that’s why I continue to blog and probably always will.

The Two Fellow Rebels

When they’ll share lessons from instances of backstabbing at work, I shall gladly narrate our anecdotes of fun and tea conversations.

When they were busy bitching about their bosses, here was a colleague who took out the time to teach me there is dignity in respecting not abusing.

To the woman who was my motivation to head to my office even on days I hated my job. She taught me what dignity of labour is really meant to mean.

Among the many senior colleagues who I would come to respect in the months to come, I have forever been grateful to have also found a friend I could endear and trust.

One who was ever so patient with me yet stern when I needed to learn. One who earned the right to give me an earful when I deserved and also wipe my tears when I could handle no more.

Having lived through what I had just begin to plan, self pity was never a thing she would entertain but pampering with treats was one thing she never forget.

To the friend who is officially my workplace best friend and proudly I am her fellow rebel.

I guess, that we are 😉

Wo Old School Wala Pyaar

Yun to kaafi modern khyaalon wali Hun par kaafi saalon bad finally ehsaas hua mohabbat main shayad aaj bhi old school Hun

Sanctity of touch Ka concept shayad reverse main sikha

Ye baat salon baad samjh aayi I don’t care kehna kaafi Nahin hota Nd especially tab to bilkul BHI Nahin jab Apka Dil Kuch jyada hi parwah krta ho

Main har bar har rishte ko pehle chhodti Hun, shayad dheron galtiyan krti hun par fir bepanah roti Hun aur wo yun aage badh jaate Hain Jaise Kuch hua hi nahin

Sahi wakt par kehne ki himmat Nahin juta paati par fir Kabhi sab ugal jati Hun

Main Apne committed logon se bhare group main aksar un chand ladkon ki Tarah friendzoned reh jaati Hun

Sabke aage single life Ka full tashn dikhati Hun to man hi man Kabhi ghabrati Hun

Waise Ishq se khasa lagaav Nahin hai mujhe par jis speed se aage badhti Hun Kabhi darti Hun ki ek din peeche mud kr dekhungi aur shayad Apne galiyare main akeli milungi

Par waise Hain mere wo do char dost Jo mujhse Ishq se BHI jyada gehre wala pyaar krte hain

meri ek smile ke liye Kuch bhi kr sakte hain

Unke Saath Khush rehti Hun aur life ke full maze leti Hun

Aur ab teen Saal baad Unke Saath reh Kar ye janti Hun, ki Maine khud se sacha wala pyaar Krna badi mushkil se sikha h

Jo rehna chahe wo rahe, Nahin to koi baat nahin

Par ye khud se wala pyaar ab Nahin chhoth payega

AJ bhi shayad equally darti Hun par rishte banane ki himmat shayad jutane lagi Hun

Fir achank se jab koi irritating so Aunty unnecessarily Shaadi ki baat krti Hain to shayad Kabhi Kabhi equally chidhti Hun par ab pehle wala jwaab Nahin deti

Ab ye to Nahin kehti ki Shaadi Nahin karungi par ye batane se BHI Nahin rukti ki sirf Apne type ke Sahi insaan se karungi

Ab itna to samjhti Hun ki har Shaadi main Ishq Nahin hota par han chahti Hun  ki meri wali main at least izzat Kam na ho

Ghar ki sabse pampered beti Hun to ye pati parmeshar wala concept to mujhe Nahin samajh aata

But Haan in modern love stories main AJ bhi naanu naani ki arranged marriage ki har anniversary par Khush Hoti Hun

Mere liye ab Ishq se pehle izzazat, aur understanding sensible hone lagi h
Shayad Apne modern khyaalon ke beech bhi pyaar old school hi Chahiye

Feminism ke naam par hypocrisy Nahin, bas unki wali wo mutual understanding Chahiye
Wo har Roz I love you na bhi kahe to chalega, par jab kahe to bas Dil se keh sake

Wo Wade kam kre par bharosa ankahi si buniyaad ho
Wo khud main mast ho aur main mujh main par jab Saath ho to hum pehle phone baad ho

Main Nahin kehti kon jyda aur kon Kam Sahi hai par ab Ye samjhti Hun ki hum jab kehte Hain ki humein farq Nahin padta tb bhi Dil hi Dil farq padta hai

Par humesha Jo ehsaas apki duniya ho, ye zaruri to Nahin ki unki bhi kayanat ho

Mujhe Nahin Chahiye ye high dopamine wala effect bas wo purani si basic wali butterflies

Agar hum haath thame to usko ek aks ho, gale lagein to sukoon ho

Aaj wali equality bhi ho aur wo purani wali simple honesty bhi

Waise koi Na bhi mile to koi shikwa Nahin par Jo koi mile to koi Aisa Jo na mujhe impress Kare na main usse

Bas jab Saath ho apni Khushi se hon na zarurat na matlb na majburi se hon.

Shukriya!

Understanding Should Go Both Ways, Right?

वो घर के काम में हाथ नहीं बंटाते
तो patriarchy का ताना देते हैं
पर पैसों की तंगी हो जाए
तो पहले पैसे उसी से मांगते हैं

उसकी पीठ में भी
दर्द हो सकता है
पर वो भारी cylinder उठाना
उसका ही फ़र्ज़ होता है

दिल उसका भी टूट सकता है
धोका उसे भी मिल सकता है
पर लड़के यूं रोते नहीं
मर्द तो होते ही कमिने हैं

लड़की का बाहर जाना तो ठीक है
पर Date पर Bill ना pay करना नहीं
Equality की बात तो सही थी
पर hypocricy भी gender-neutral रही

माना pregnant हम ही हो सकते हैं
Period pains हमें ही सहनी है
पर शायद कभी कभी हम भी भूल जाते हैं
ज़िन्दगी इतनी आसान तो उनकी भी नहीं होती

P.S. – Inspired from a friend’s post (Sheetal Di)
लड़कों की ज़िन्दगी इतनी भी आसान नहीं होती | मोनिका सिंह

Dedicated To My Den

My Room Then with my typical pages

अपने घर में जैसे कभी अपने कमरे की जरूरत ही नहीं लगी
पर इस कमरे में मानो मेरी सारी यादें आज भी क़ैद हों
नाना – नानी के साथ आज भी मज़े से खाना खाती हूं
और फिर दुबक कर अपने कमरे में आ जाती हूं
वो हर पल साथ थे मेरे पर रातें मेरी अपनी थी
इस कमरे ने कॉलेज का पहला Crush witness किया था
और तीसरे वाले की याद में साला आज भी रुलाता है
इस कमरे में जैसे आज़ाद सी होती हूं
पर क्यूं फिर मानो तन्हाई में रोती हूं
मेरे बर्थडे पार्टी मिस करने कि सिसकियां
मेरे बचपने को अलविदा कहती कहानियां
जब दिल में सब किस्से समेटे थी
तब भी इसे सब पता था
इस कमरे में आज भी कुछ अपना पर कुछ तन्हा सा लगता है
पर जाने से पीछली रात, ना नींद ना studies में मन लगता है
मेरी ताउम्र के एहसासों का मानो पिंजरा हो ये
एक साल बाद भी इस में सब कड़क चाय सा ताज़ा लगता है
हर बार की तरह भी इस रात कुछ तन्हा सा लगा
कुछ यादों के लिए पन्ने मानो पूरे नहीं पड़ते
हर बार लगता है मानो मेरा एक सिरा यहीं रह गया

My Room Now

As we move away for our homes, coming back our rooms become a natural trigger to nostalgia. What does yours remind you off. Would love to hear about your nostalgic diaries too or follow through the story links in the comments below.

Much strength and hope to everyone out there….💛